My true feelings
by PrionsaAgusBradacha
Summary: What if the lioness I love feels the same?  Should I still be who I was trained to be or who I am?  Should I reveal to her my true reasons for abandoning the outlanders, or my true feelings for her?  How would she react?  How would fate react? New title
1. 1

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**My own interperatation of Kovu's feeling's during his first attempt at Simba's murder. I really didn't like the way Disney presented Kovu, he just seemed like a dumbass to me xD I mean come on...you wouldn't completley obliterate your training after about half an hour of chasing rhinos! His decisions didn't seem justified. So I recon he was feeling something _else_ when he was going to murder Simba...**

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Kovu:

My life is _nothing_ but an endless line of mistakes and disappointments. Whichever way I turn things only seem to get worse. Here's the funny part; I don't know whether Scar was right or wrong. I mean, okay he did do wrong when he murdered his brother and attempted to murder Simba, but doesn't it seem when his loyalty came into question, he did what any good leader would do?  
Though it was tough through my cub hood, I must look forward. But sometimes it's difficult and I end up facing the other way. So far, the only thing turning me back round is the only lioness I have ever loved, Kiara. This sounds soppy but, I love her so, so much that I would kill anyone in the way of us. I mean it. My heart aches when I'm not with Kiara, but it hurts even more when I am with her. She doesn't know who I really am, she doesn't know of my true inclinations. My father may have died in front of me and I may have been nurtured badly but putting all of that aside I just want Kiara to love me, which makes it impossible for me to tell her of why I am here.

I just want her in my paws. It hurts knowing that the one thing I was sent to do here will never allow me into her heart. I wouldn't initiate this plan but if I don't I know that my mother will persecute me; she may even _kill_ me. Stupid bitch...  
I sigh as I stand here sharpening my claws against this rock waiting for the son of Mufasa to walk around that corner to the watering hole, ready for his death. I don't want to do this, but I must. I may never have Kiara and I will hurt for the rest of my life but I guess that's what I deserve for letting Zira and Scar nurture me this way. Zira always said she was proud of me. She isn't. She is only proud of the killer she wants me to be. Perhaps if I make this death look like man slaughter, then I could still get into Kiara's heart. This could work, but I may go to hell for lying to her and god will strike me down; but I don't care. I love Kiara too much to even be proud of what I am about to do. I see Simba stretch atop Pride Rock, walking down to the watering hole for his morning drink preparing for a rough day. I sigh once more and gulp before I get ready to pounce. I'm getting into this too much, I need to stop growling. I guess this is it. Only one thing to do; kill Simba. Come on Kovu, you can do this. I have a cover up, he fell into the lake and never got back out again. It's a terrible cover up story, I know, but it's all I have. Just before my task is complete a set of golden paws are standing in my way. My murderous face has been wiped as I look up and stare into those beautiful, perfect brown eyes. Fuck. I didn't do it.  
'Good morning!' Kiara giggles. 'I'm ready for my first lesson. Surprised you huh?' I remain silent. 'Hey, c'mon! Let's go!'

I growl lowly. Kiara doesn't understand. I hate you fate...

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**I didn't change much of my monologue, but it's improved slightly :P** **I was tempted to write monologues for Kovu's feelings at other parts of TLK II so I might do...I'm unsure...**


	2. 2

**Here is part 2 out of [hopefully] 5 monologues i have planned for you :3 I dont know why but I was suddenly hit at night to write this so...voila!**

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**Kovu: **Some days you can completely embarrass yourself, some days you wish you were never born. Today was not that day for me; in fact it was...mesmerizing. I had never imagined it would turn out quite the way it did. Do you know what? I'm glad it did. I never want this moment to end. The only form of joy I have felt since my cub hood.

The stars are amazing and beautiful tonight. Just not as much as the lioness slumped next to me. Never. I look into the skies, not for constellations or clouds; but for the courage. Maybe father, you're listening to me now, somewhere out there just to give me the extra push to do what I know is true to my heart. I'm suddenly startled by the golden, astounding lioness' voice 'Oh look! There's one that looks like a baby rabbit! See the fluffy tail?' She giggles. I can only sigh in agreement and move my paw to the floor, edging it closer and closer to her every second. 'Hey!' I shout, 'There's one that looks like two lions killing each other over a scrap of meat!'

What was the point in saying that? Are you stupid? Way to hide your violent side captain obvious. Quick! Change the subject. 'Ah, I've never done this before.'

Nice save.

'Really?' Kiara sighs. 'My father and I used to do this all the time, he says: all the great kings of the past are up there.'

Perhaps I need to start edging into it. How do I approach the situation? How can I tell her how I honestly feel? This won't be easy. Come on Kovu! You don't have much time. I could always start with a crappy joke...no. Too obvious. I sigh once more, slightly clawing at the long grass suddenly opening my muzzle with probably the _last _thing to say in a situation like this:

'Do you think Scar's up there?'

Why? Why did I say that? Kiara suddenly swivel's her head round, shocked at what I had just said. I turn my head to look into her eyes, only to find them not as soft and caring as before. What have I done? I've ruined my chances forever. She doesn't love you back. There's no use staying here. I shake my head as I lift myself from the grass and step away, only to hear Kiara sit up herself.

'He wasn't my father; but he was still, _part _of me.'

She plods next to me. I'm keeping my eyes closed, I can't bear to look into her eyes. It's going to feed more to the aching hole in my heart. All I want to do is scream that I love you. I guess I never will. I sigh, pawing at the ground awkwardly awaiting how she's going to ridicule me.

'My father said there was a...' her speech cuts off for a second. Wait; she...understands? 'a darkness, in Scar that he couldn't escape.'

I exhale. My chances have dissolved. I might as well follow in the paw prints of Scar, it's all that I'm good for. I can't even get the courage to tell this lioness I love her so much. She'll never understand fully. My eyes remain closed.

'Maybe there's a darkness in me too.'

All I can do now is hope that we can stay friends. I don't want to lose her. But, hang on a second. My eyes suddenly shoot open. She's...she's _nuzzling _me? She feels the same? What's she doing? I can't say anything. This is what fate wants; then so be it. My eyes slide shut and my head lowers, beginning to enjoy the sudden outburst of intimacy. Her fur is so soft, I just don't know why I couldn't have done this sooner. A weak smile tugs away at my muzzle. I have what I want. I just hope I can explain to her the dangers of what's to come tomorrow, or pray to my mother she won't do what I'm going to regret. Please mother, don't steal my happiness away.

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**It's not as good as the first one I admit. But...myeh...**


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